I Wish Heaven Had Visiting Hours

One of my girlfriends came around for afternoon tea today and I made scones. I've been making scones for work also and each time I make them I get a huge ping of happiness and sadness whilst I mix the ingredients together. I get a strong, overbearing wave of nostalgia, In my head I'm a tiny four year old Rachel standing on a stool at the bench next to grandpa peeping up onto the counter whilst he made us scones, I remember how he would use a glass to cut the dough into perfect circles and place them on the tray ready to get all delicious and fluffy. 

My grandpa passed away around 10 years ago now. It was a horrible pain I can not and will not forget. Grandpa was one of the kindest men ive ever had the pleasure of meeting. I learnt so much from him. I can remember him waking up every morning before nan had woken up and bringing her in a nice hot cup of tea and a couple of cookies on a side plate. They would then lay there and read verses from the bible together. I started drinking tea because of this morning habit, he would make me one too if I was there and awake. I drink tea every day now and every time I take my first sip I smile inside because I think of the man who introduced me too it.

It's sad to think ill never see one of my favourite people in the world again. I'll never get to help him make scones, feed the chooks, collect the eggs or watch the news with him. It's even sadder to think that we all will just end one day, turn off, like a switch. A broken appliance never to turn on again.

I have always had a fear of death. 

I hope I will be around long enough to make a lasting impact in another's life like grandpa did in mine, I also pray I meet a man as loyal and loving as him. A man that will bring me tea in the morning and make me scones. That's all I ask for. 

Stay fabulous 💋 

Rachel