Highschool Never Ends

 I did not particularly enjoy high school.

I found it was an endless cycle of hate. I hated people, people hated me, I hated particular classes, I hated particular teachers, I hated wearing uniform, I hated trends and I hated cliques. (just quickly, that much hate is not healthy)

Highschool ended a few years ago now here I am in my adult life and walking around in my adult life I sometimes bump into people from my teenage life. 

How is it normal to have known someone for near on nine years and then completely ignore them on the street? Serve them at your workplace and not say hello or even go to the same social event and shrug them off.... I know small talk is shit, I completely get that BUT pretending someone doesn't exist is a little more than just rude. 

The critically acclaimed poet from the 17th century "Bowling for soup" stated that: 

"Four years you think for sure

That's all you've got to endure

All the total dicks

All the stuck up chicks

So superficial, so immature

Then when you graduate

You take a look around and you say HEY WAIT

This is the same as where I just came from

I thought it was over

Aw that's just great" 

When you think about it adult life is just an extension of high school. There will always be gossip and there will always be cliques, people you disagree with and "teachers" who will never treat you with a profound respect. The difference between highschool and adult life, or so I've found in myself is I've learnt how to deal with the negativity better, I've learnt where and whom I should invest my time and energy and instead of having to learn from the "teachers", I now choose what information to retain from the "preachers". That's probably my favourite thing I've learnt in adulthood. You don't have to take anyone's advice. You choose what you want to give and what you want to take. 

Next time you see someone from highschool, regardless of if you where best buddies or not, why not smile and say a quick hello. I promise it won't hurt. 

Stay fabulous. 

Rachel 💋

My biggest flaw; according to men

Intense; Adjective; having or showing strong feelings or opinions; extremely earnest or serious. 

I've been told on many different occasions by a variety of people (mostly males) that I'm too "intense", that my biggest flaw is "intensity" and that I'm too passionate. I only have one thing to say to these people and that's "Bibbity Bobbity BACK THE FUCK UP" (please excuse my language).

How is it my fault that you are unable to handle my enthusiasm and vibrant personality? Maybe YOUR biggest flaw is lacking the ability to dance in rythm with my vibrancy. 

I haven't, will not and can not suppress my passion and big heart because you are unable to understand it. These people do not even deserve the affection and attention of we who suffer the same (apparently tragically life threatening) trait of caring. 

This is a reach out to all the girls and boys out there that have been told too simmer down. DONT. If anything be more enthusiastic! Love more, see more, feel more and cull more! Cull the people out of your life that cringe at your intensity. One day someone will come along and love you for the very same reason these others turn away from you. 

Please don't dull your shine because others do not like light. 

Stay fabulous

Rachel 💋

I Wish Heaven Had Visiting Hours

One of my girlfriends came around for afternoon tea today and I made scones. I've been making scones for work also and each time I make them I get a huge ping of happiness and sadness whilst I mix the ingredients together. I get a strong, overbearing wave of nostalgia, In my head I'm a tiny four year old Rachel standing on a stool at the bench next to grandpa peeping up onto the counter whilst he made us scones, I remember how he would use a glass to cut the dough into perfect circles and place them on the tray ready to get all delicious and fluffy. 

My grandpa passed away around 10 years ago now. It was a horrible pain I can not and will not forget. Grandpa was one of the kindest men ive ever had the pleasure of meeting. I learnt so much from him. I can remember him waking up every morning before nan had woken up and bringing her in a nice hot cup of tea and a couple of cookies on a side plate. They would then lay there and read verses from the bible together. I started drinking tea because of this morning habit, he would make me one too if I was there and awake. I drink tea every day now and every time I take my first sip I smile inside because I think of the man who introduced me too it.

It's sad to think ill never see one of my favourite people in the world again. I'll never get to help him make scones, feed the chooks, collect the eggs or watch the news with him. It's even sadder to think that we all will just end one day, turn off, like a switch. A broken appliance never to turn on again.

I have always had a fear of death. 

I hope I will be around long enough to make a lasting impact in another's life like grandpa did in mine, I also pray I meet a man as loyal and loving as him. A man that will bring me tea in the morning and make me scones. That's all I ask for. 

Stay fabulous 💋 

Rachel 

Signing My Life Away

So. After what feels like 20 years (it's been 1.5) I have finally come to a decision on what to pursue as a career path *queue fire works*. 

My passion as many of you already may know is food. I LOVE it. I love eating it, cooking it, reading about it and thinking about it. This strong pull towards food has lead me to apply for a career in the culinary arts. So as of today. The 7th of the 7th 2016 I Rachel Maree am an apprentice chef; and I could not be more thrilled!!!!!! I have now worked front of house in hospitality for six years and have always been more interested in what is happening in the kitchen as appose to front of house. This has made me experiment more with my cooking at home and order the more interesting items on menus when I eat out. Now it's my turn to learn, discover, experiment and thrive. Who knows, I could be the next Heston..... (I think the skinny pigeon could be strong competition)

This little step forward has also elevated my mood so much I haven't even got angry at today's silly moments, which include but not limited too: 

* forgetting to put my handbrake on and my car ending up on a tree, luckily with no scratches or dents *phew* 

* trying to get my new table upstairs alone and falling 

And 

* withdrawing $100 from an atm but forgetting to actually take the money...... With that being said I hope the soulless creature in Belmont who took it buys themselves some morals with it. 

Anyway that's enough from me. I'm off to yoga to find my zen so I don't find and murder the said money stealer with my new chef knives.

Until next time, 

Stay fabulous 💋 

Rachel 

My Sweet Addiction.

I'm sorry I haven't made an entry in a while, it's just... Well....

I've been simply too busy eating my weight in sweets. 

They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So here goes; I Rachel Maree Elliott have a dessert addiction. 

Ive tried to suppress it but it's just, i think about dessert 90% of the day and if it's put in front of me I devour the sugary substance in five seconds flat. I've thought about cutting out other meals all together and just eating sweets (I swiftly decided against that).   

My favourite desserts include lemon meringue, pavlova and golden syrup dumplings. However whilst travelling America I came across an unusual dessert which really tingled my tastebuds; deep fried ice cream. I ordered it with my friend Madison waringly but it was AMAZEBALLS. It was in a light tempura batter and the vanilla cheesecake inside was warm and full of flavour. So that has been thrown in as a temporary wild card in my list until I one day stop thinking about it and drooling.

I realised I had a problem when after work one day I bought two cakes to take home. A caramel slice and a lemon meringue (as mentioned about in my favourites list *licks lips*). I was going to eat one for afternoon tea and one the next day......

I accidently ate both. I also felt not an ounce of guilt. 

I admit I have a problem but I am not ashamed. I'll continue to eat my desserts but I will also continue too exercise and try my best to balance my meals because this haircut won't work on a size 24. 

Stay fabulous 

Rachel 💋

Happiest Place On Earth

Disney.

A word that means a different thing to every seperate person. To some it brews nostalgia surrounding childhood, to some it creates excitement in their stomach, to some it means endless possibilities and to some it means nothing. *sad face*.

To me Disney is magic, to me Disney is the most pure form of naive happiness and bliss.

This being said it astounds me how some people can go to a Disney theme park and show aggression, sadness and annoyance. (Not okay, ruins my vibes, dims my light). I was at Disney world in Orlando, Florida at the beginning of this week and it was incredible, I felt emotions that have unfortunately not been evident in my person for a very long time. The two short days I spent at the parks where incredible. Watching children so ridiculously absorbed in the world of fairy tales was a great experience for me. My inner child even came through, lining up to get photographs with Princesses, watching the parades, singing and dancing along to my favourite songs and even shedding multiple tears throughout the days events. These include but are not limited too; meeting my main girl Tinkerbell, watching the castle light show and being gifted a bookmark from Princess Belle herself. It was too much. I couldn't feel anything but joy. Which is funny cause as i previously touched on some people are in right moods EVEN AT DISNEY WORLD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. (Ill stop shouting now, I apologise for raising my voice). How is it even possible to be mad at Disney? i honestly can not fathom it, how can you pay so much money and make so much effort for a vacation with your loved ones to then stand around moping, sooking, arguing, pouting, demanding and simply not smiling. You aren't just ruining your day, you're ruining everyone else's day too, or at least trying too. Theres a long line? of course their is, take some snacks, play eye spy or sing a song from frozen. Make the not so fun stuff fun.

So this is a message to anyone thinking of getting upset for no good reason at Disney. DO NOT!!!!!! YOU'RE RUINING THE MAGIC. (sorry for yelling again). If you hate your husband, go home and hate him. Its called the happiest place on earth for a reason.... BE HAPPY (last time I swear).

Actually this goes for everything, if you go on vacation please just enjoy it, soak it in, cause soon enough you'll be back to reality and i promise you'll regret wasting that holiday arguing over a forgotten reservation, a poor decision, or taking too long to get ready.

Breathe deeply and "Let It Go" *Cue snow flurry*

Stay Shining

Rachel 💋

Come fly with me

I woke myself up at 5am on the 9th May. I had given myself enough time to run around gathering everything I had forgotten to pack and organise (more than you'd think). First point of call was to organise transport to get me to the airport bus.. But silly me accidentally ordered both an uber and a taxi, the race was on, who would arrive first. 6:33 the uber won. I get to the bus, hop on and I no joke knocked out completely in 2 minutes flat, which, for a 75 minute bus ride is a pretty decent nap. 

Arriving at the airport was a mix of emotions, I get myself a cup of tea and smashed Avo and salmon for breakfast at one of the airport cafe and then after being refueles, I proceed to check in. At this point I was pretty proud of myself, doing so well so far but low and behold I hit a bump in the road; my check in gets rejected due to esta visa issues. "Sorry Miss, your passport doesn't match the one on the visa and we don't have facilities at the airport to do it here", stupid me forgot to update the application after my new passport arrived. Lucky I reapplied for the visa in enough time to just check in (literally 5 minutes before cut off) and after calming myself down I get through customs a breeze and I order myself a coffee and waited patiently for my flight. 

The first flight was breezy, mainly due to the epic movie selection and free alcohol, thank you air New Zealand! Pulp fiction and gin and apple juice are a great combination. It was smooth sailing after that UNTIL boarding my flight from Auckland to Los Angeles. Half way through boarding the vessel there was announced a "small technical issue on the plane" which "would be solved in around thirty minutes". No problem I thought. THEN thirty minutes turned into an hour and thats where I lost my chill and I started to panic. My connecting flight was too close to be having hefty delays. I go to the counter and ask about the delay and was told there was nothing they could do as I didn't book my itinerary through them for my connecting flight. I started tearing up and I start walking back to my chair, but I no joke broke down historically crying in front of the other passengers waiting in the lounge too, so I vouched for a quite corner to sook in. This was an opportune time to take a nap (I obviously needed one). 

I woke up to another announcement apologising as the delay was now 3 hours. Yes. Excellent. I began trying to make arrangements for a flight change from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. Helpful hint; don't try and call the international number for Virgin America, the one that's on their website, it doesn't work. Also, don't try and call Virgin Australia to help, cause they won't transfer you through and when you ask for the manager they will put you on hold for 30 minutes before disconnecting you completely. FINALLY I just bit the bullet and called the American line and just prayed the fee wouldn't cost me my left kidney. The lady on the other line was very helpful and my flight got changed for only $25. Hallelujah. 

At 12:00am, 3 hours and 10 minutes after orginal boarding time we were allowed to board the aircraft. I sat at my allocated seat (which was wrong, apparently I can't read, so I had to move) and the journey began. I actually sat with some really cool people (which never happens) and the air hostess was very accomodating with supplying me with wines and gins. Like no joke this legend suggested a mimosa with breakfast, like yes of course you beautiful soul, make it 5! Why not, let's make it a party. 

Customs wasnt a hassle once arriving in the states, and my bags where collected swiftly. But it's me, of course it couldn't have gone 100% smoothly, that would be too easy. So I was in the exit line with my bags waiting to leave the customs area and my nose started bleeding like a tap. It's not a great time to have a nose explosion, the security probably thought I was bringing in Ebola or some other diseases. Lucky the lady next to me (I think she was French) had tissues (which by the way where scented like angels). I clean myself up, check in to my domestic flight and boarded, finally arriving in Vegas at 8:22pm still on the 9th may (bloody time difference) to my host grandpa, mother and sister from my American exchange year in 2012 picking me up! 

29 hours travelling time in total and it's the most surreal feeling ever after being here again after being away 3 and a half years. 

Excited for the month ahead of me. I'll keep in touch. 

Stay fabulous, 

Rachel 💋

Leave Me Alone And Let Me Work

I'm not going to sit here and say that I've never thought a cashier, waiter or worker was cute at a restaurant that I've dined in BUT I can say that I have never intentionally made them feel uncomfortable or made an intentional inappropriate slur in their expense to their face. So forgive me if I am wrong in saying this but I expect the same amount of common courtesy in return. The amount of middle aged to old men that think it is okay to borderline harass me and the other girls I work with in the work place is ridiculous. It is not okay to suggest marriage, comment on my body or how nice my lips are regardless of how alpha you think you are. The main problem i have is when the comments are made I have no option but to ignore it, I'm at work and can not relatiate confidently without it potentially costing me my job. Whereas if this happened in the street or at a bar you could say how you really feel, throw a drink, hit them with your car or step on their foot; you know, harmless banter yeah?

Over the last few years whilst working in hospitality I have had to deal with people like this every day, the funny thing is it's never men my age (not that that would make it any better) but it's always the older crowd. Why? Probably boredom in their marriages or trying to pretend "they still got it", but who really knows. A few of the worst creepy comments Ive collected include (but are not limited too): 

• "Do you like children? Would you like to go halves in one?" 

• "My heart rate elevates when you enter the room" 

• *looks me up and down* "You have a sporty build, do you work out much?"

• "The only time I'd yell at you would be in the bedroom" 

I'm sorry but no one should have to deal with those unwanted comments at work, whether they be female or male. I hate to have to go on a sexual harassment rant but that's what it is. I'm trying to work, I'm trying to provide YOU a service and it's rather distracting when I'm having comments thrown at me about my physical appearance. 

CUT IT OUT IM OVER IT *SCREAMS*

Hope everyone else is having a good week, 

Stay safe and stand up for yourselves 

Rachel 💋

Silver linings

This week has been woeful. 

Everything that could go wrong did go wrong but instead of what I usually do (cry and eat) i have proudly become so insensitively numb to distasteful situations that I seem to just laugh at them and myself. I really am hopeless but what can you do?

This not throwing a tantrum thing though when things mess up... This is odd, and I think it may be called being an adult? I could be wrong though.

After reflecting on this new found skill I believe that ive learnt that instead of wasting time sulking Ived used that time productively to try and counteract or at least better a situation regardless of how bitter it may be (I accidentally get myself into some very bitter situations). For example on my way to get pizza last night I realised that I had no petrol so I decided I would stop to fill up on my way to the pizza store. Unfortunately around 750 metres from the service station my car completely stopped and I realised that I had run out of fuel completely and of course in typical Rachel fashion it was terrible timing, it was at a set of lights. Luckily I was on a hill and I could roll around the corner and park so I didn't hold up any traffic and cause an accident (silver lining). I just sat there in my car mortified at the sticky situation id got myself into and instead of throwing a hissyfit like I would have a year ago I sighed and picked up my phone and called my step mum who (bless her) brought me a jerrycan to fill up my poor car and I was back on the road and able to rescue my pizza from being thrown out after being left there for such a long time. 

When I got home after already having a bad day I found out whilst eating my rescued pizza  that I would have to move out of my place on unforeseen circumstances. Again, I could have gone and got ice cream out of the freezer and medicinally devoured it. Yet I spent the next few hours organising myself a new place instead (gold star Rachel). 

In short I seem to have learnt that no matter the situation there is no reason to work yourself into a state over it. Regardless of how tragic a day seems there are ALWAYS silver linings, some times you just have to dig deeper to find them. Everything happens for a reason and there is always a lesson to be learnt.

What did I learn yesterday? I learnt that no matter how much I hate filling up petrol it's inevitable and I need to stop being a sook and just man up and do it. 

Here I raise my tea cup to myself hoping next week is a better one. 

Stay fabulous. 

Rachel 💋

Little Miss Indecisive

I remember in primary school telling anyone who asked (or would listen) that I was going to a lawyer, the best lawyer that ever had walked into a courthouse. 

This self proclaimed future job title stuck with me right throughout high school until around year eleven. Then I started panicking. How can I be choosing my future off a childhood dream? I then started exploring options. 

In America whilst on my exchange through my theatre class I fell in love with acting and was sure I wanted to be a famous actress. Coming home from my year abroad I fell back from the stars and back to earth (reality) and my dream shattered into a long lost memory. I started my classes for VCE and in my business management class I learnt about public relations, I decided I really enjoyed that topic and that I was destined to be a publicist, I did a small work experience gig in Sydney and I loved it, i kept up to date with all the top publicists and I even applied and got accepted into a double major for it at university but I deffered. 

I wasn't sure it was for me so I started looking into being a air hostess for the Australian defence force which the idea of excited me, but I sprained my ankle the week before my meeting and I freaked out and cancelled the appointment but I promised myself I'd reschedule. I never did. 

I decided to just work a year and save before sucking it up and just doing public relations like I'd planned at university.

Then I thought maybe I could go back to that air hostess idea but for a commercial airline instead, again I'm second guessed it and just left the idea aside. 

So lately I (Miss indesisive) have been thinking that I should take my love of cooking further and start a cooking apprenticeship but I keep hesitating. 

In all honestly I have no idea what I want to do or who I want to be. I could literally be anything I wanted to be and that's such a scary thought. How can anyone choose? 

So for the next person who asks if I'm studying or what I'm doing with my life, my answer is no I'm not and I have no idea. I'm working, I'm travelling, I live out of home, I have a car, I'm not dead yet and I'm still young so just let me be and hopefully I'll age like a fine wine.

Rachel 💋

Rachel's inability to adult efficiently

I am 20 years old and I am still not entirely sure how anyone can get the hang of this adult business. I live out of home, I work, I have a car, I'm "independent" but I am also useless at being a responsible adult. 

Definition; 

Adult: A person that is fully grown or developed. 

I am fully grown ( I suppose) but developed ? I'm a little rusty.....

I miss the days where there was always food in the house. Opening the cupboards to full loaves of fresh bread, abundances of crisp fruits, theee varieties of muesli bars and twenty different flavoured cereals *drools*. Not I open my cupboard and I see two minute noodles, tuna cans, pasta packets, rice, tea bags and cuppa soups (all cheap and nasty). Some nights im either too lazy to cook, go to the store or I'm so low on money that I'm forced to be creative. I've eaten things for dinner like boiled rice and soy sauce (if I'm lucky I'll find and throw in a can on tuna), I've had potatoes mashed into patties with cheese and tuna and sometimes I'll just crack open and eat a can of tuna. (Not sure why tuna features in all of these examples but you'll understand it one day if you like the canned goodness and you're living out of home on a budget). 

I never understood the pain of paying bills until I first hand had to deal with my phone getting cut off. It's not always because I'm low on money either.... It's more along the lines of I'm forgetful and Vodafone are really terrible at reminding me to pay them. Another bill I can't seem to get right is paying my tolls when I drive to the city, I go and have a great adventure and then come home and completely forget about the tollways and by the time I finally spark memory to take care of them the bastards have tripled in price. (*sigh* *removes kidney to sell in order to pay tolls*)

Adulthood I've found is also a lot of cleaning that I seem to be really talented at avoiding, like cleaning out the inside of my car, neatly folding/hanging up my clothes and scrubbing the shower. The worst part is there is no one to bark at you to do it, and as annoying as nagging parents may seem they are good at making you get the job done regardless of how tedious and time consuming the chore is. 

A scheduled bed time has also become a blurred memory since passing over into the world of adulthood. Last night I fell asleep around 3:45am, tonight I'm up typing at 12:11am, some nights I just ignore the need to sleep at all. I'm patiently waiting for the day I'll become a responsible woman and retire myself to bed at 9:30pm so I can get a "good nights sleep". Just joking that sounds boring, but I do wonder what being awake and alert feels like without having to constantly pump caffeine through my lethargic veins.

Anyway in short I fell headfirst into this adult business and I've found I'm really bad at it and I think I may in the near future have to hire a full time babysitter to watch over me because this is getting out of hand. 

Stay safe everyone and never grow up, save yourself before it's too late. 

Rachel 💋

The driving report

It's been around 14 months now since I (finally) got my licence on the first (fourth) try. In that time I have only slightly got better but can still not understand how I could be so shocking at such a basic human skill. 

Last night whilst driving to Melbourne and back I realised how bad my road rage can get. I also realised I am not In a position where I should be allowed to give other drivers any form of driving tips but here I am and I have compiled a list of things other drivers do that royally get my blood boiling !!!. But I am also all about equality and I also wrote a list of what I do that I constantly get flipped off at for. 

idosyncricies of the other drivers;

* Not turning off their high beam lights when passing me on a dark road. This causes me to go temporarily blind for 5 seconds and then have that two littles orbs floating in my vision interrupting my view of the road. Not okay. Not nice. 

* Bullying me to go faster. Abusing me from behind on the freeway when IM DOING THE SPEEDLIMIT (the law) and trying to pressure me into switching lanes. No sir. If you're so in need to rush don't let me stop YOU from switching lanes. Jerk. 

* Failure to read other cars obvious actions When the car behind can obviously see I'm (trying) to reverse parellel park (which is really hard) but decides anyway to get up so close to my bum that I cant possibly reverse back more than an inch so I'm forced to make alternate parking arrangements. 

Hans Englebert (picture below) and I; 

* Poor judgement We went into the middle of the intersection with the intention to turn right but the light goes red. What would you do? Apparently the Hans and Rachel duo decide to just sit their and let people go around. (I now know that was the wrong choice)

* Failure to shoulder check my driving teacher explained blind spots in my lessons but I didn't pay huge attention because I couldn't understand how anyone could be that stupid to completely miss seeing a car on the road..... 

The amount of times I've scared myself and a car to the right of me due to me trying to change lanes but not checking Hans blind spot is not a number I should legally disclose. 

Overall review; People suck but I also suck. I award myself a C- in driving ability.

Have a fab week everyone, and stay safe on the roads. 

Rachel 💋

- the infamous Hans Englebert and Rachel Maree duo - 

Admitting I have a problem; Love is in the hair

For anyone who knows me, they know I have a very slight (large) obsession with my hair. The amount of time that ive spent at the hairdressers in the last few years I could have learnt a second language. It's honestly not that bad of an obsession though guys.... (Lies)

I don't know quite what draws me to it so much. Whether it be the anticipation for the arrival of the appointment date and time, or if its the nifty cape I get to wear (whilst in my head pretending I'm at hogwarts). It could even be the stinging smell of peroxide in my nose or the quiet snip of the scissors cutting my hair and letting my offcut locks skydive to their final resting place. 

It's the first thing I notice on a person. I look for the style, the inspiration, the colour, the upkeep and the bounce or lack their of. It can make or break my first impression drastically. 

Over the years I've had my fair share of hair experiments. I've gone dark, a blue fringe, grey, blonde, once I even went a little crazy and went purple for a week. I've had long hair, a bob, a side fringe, a front fringe, buzzed back and sides. I went through a lady bun phase (female man bun) I've done pretty much everything but go red and dreads. 

My advice for you today is to try out a haircut or style you've been wanting to do forever. Don't listen to the critics, do you! And if you hate it I'm living proof that you can change it in a few hours alone time with your trusty hairdresser. (*hint hint* i recommend highly going a pixie cut.. But I may be bias)

Anyway Here's a small snippet of a few of my hair styles that I've loved over the years. 

Have a fabulous weekend guys, 

Rachel 💋

No date. No problem.

In light of my lack of date today on "the most romantic day of the year" (If you didn't read that sarcastically please read it again in a sarcastic tone before continuing) here's a throwback to prom 2012. 

Being an exchange student in a foreign country  I was cocky and put under false pretences that it would be easy to find a date to the prom.... I was very wrong. I did try, I actually tried really hard to find a date. After I shed many tears my friend Sascha had the brilliant idea that we should not miss the dance but instead go together as friends. 

The day rolled around and we went all out, we bought each other corsages, we got photos done and it was actually an amazing night despite my initial disappoint that not a single boy in the whole school (of 2000 students) wanted to take the poor lonely Australian girl to prom. 

The reason I bring this up today on Valentine's Day is because if (like me) you don't have a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, partner, child, cat, fish or teddy bear to love today and in whom will return the love, don't let it get you down!. I know those rotten memes are rude, you know the ones that say things like "Don't get sad on Valentine's Day, no one loves you any other day of the year either". They're harsh, but honestly they are right, Please don't sit inside moping and crying into your tub of icecream. Instead do what I did for prom and pick yourself up, dust yourself off and find a not so traditional way to spend the occasion. You never know. It could surprise you! 

Rachel 💋

The long quest to contentment

Over the last few years I have had this big question; "what is contentment and how do I find it?". I have been through many trial and error attempts and I am still not there. I have asked friends and family in passing this same question and I've been told that you never truly do find contentment and it's a work in progress your whole life. This seems like a fair enough answer. 

A few thoughts I've had though, that I for some reason believed could fulfil this need are relationships, fitness and money. Here are my findings;

Relationships: I have tried to find a boyfriend. I have baked for, gifted, surprised, tried to love so many people I think I have think I've been through more boys than toothbrushes in the last two years. It's obviously not working, whatever I'm doing. The sad thing is that it's leaving me in more hurt than happiness. So my 2016 goal is to give up. I'm going to 120% focus on me and if a boy turns up out no where great and if they dont, even better. 

Fitness: I trained myself to the point of exhaustion in 2014, so much so that I lost my love for the "gym scene" and I gave it up completely. I juiced the happiness out of my training and what was left was an empty corpse of a hobbie that left me feeling resentment towards it. So this year, I'm going to start it up again, but I'm going to go slow, I'm going to try different exercises and different sports. Im going to do it for my health and happiness instead of for competition. 

Money: I worked my butt off over 2015. Minimal days off, long hours, lots of tears where lost in exchange for money. The funny thing is I didn't save much of it, I blew it, God knows where but I blew it. I literally have nothing to show for all my hard work. I was greedy and I spent it greedily. 2016 I am of course going to work but I'm not going to strain myself, I'm going to take time to adventure, to learn, to explore with the money that I make. 

This is my promise for 2016; this is the year of me and the next chapter in the story of my journey to contentment.